Monday, April 2, 2007

Ethanol and other gas pains

Oh, well....
An octogenary called fidel kasstro has gas problems.
After all, with two anuses and a very chopped off tripe lenght, he's probably producing gas at a rate that is making Al Gore's carbon fotprint look smaller by the minute.
Now, while wearing his ambientalist toga, Mean Mr. Kasstro goes on a mad rampage acussing George W. of literally wiping off the maize farms to produce ethanol and, in the process, taking the proverbial tortilla out of the mouth of your next door illegal immigrant neighbor.
Strangely, while sugar cane alcohol is produced in Brazil to fuel about 90% of the cars of that country all's fine and dandy. No problems. There's a bunch of hungry people in Brazil but that's not due to corruption, instutionalized thievery, the burning of the Amazonian rainforest to evict native tribes or anything like that. You, me, and my monkey know that it's all Georgie's fault. Or at least, that's what kasstro writes as part as his new role of evangelist for the environment.
C'mon, Cuba's natural environment's destroyed, the land is ravaged, but that's Georgie boy's doing. Or so sayeth kasstro.
The reasoning behind Mean Mr. Kasstro's tirade is as follows:
a- he's back from the gates of Hell and is getting bored with hospital food. He's missing his usual fare of exotic foods that the regular walking-to-work Cuban cannot even dream of, much less afford. That he's doing better has a good slant to it though, maybe he doesn't die in his bed and one day will have to face justice, think about it.
b- his worse nightmare after the one on which he is judged and taken to the shooting squad for his crimes, is that the U.S. weans off the tits of Saudi Arabia. It would elminate the possibility of energetic blackmailing so favored by him, el Mico Putumayo Chavez, and the Moors.
c- he needs Al Gore as an ally. One never knows if Al Gore wins Florida in 2008. At least kasstro doesn't know. If that happens, well, he maybe will annex the Cuba and the United States as the Union of Socialist Republics of America. And Chavez will be vice president of empty boxes, blank papers, and raul will be the minister of meaningless affairs.
d- his propaganda machine has fed him some good intelligence: he's still the favorite of one too many a liberal professor and one too many liberal politician in the States. So, they need him to defend the caribu, the low fat maize tortilla, to keep the oil dependency of the United States when from the teeth out they scream "oh, bloody oil, oil for blood, the bearded toad of the creek behind my house is almost extinct", and believeme, who's better suited for the job than the Adidas cladded almost extinct bearded toad of the Caribbean?
In my not so humble opinion, we need to get rid of that oil addiction.
We need to welcome alternative sources of energy, electric and ethanol cars, eolic farms, electricity generated by the tidal movements, geotermal energy and so on and so forth. This will be also great for a future green(er) Cuba, which will need to be independent from any oily bastard. After all, that will happen when the bearded toad of the Caribbean is totally and forever extinct.