Food advise and fashion tips.....
This is an old article from KillCastro updated with editorial reviews done by a treasured friend of mine.
It was to be used in another context, but.... Tocororo wrote me an amusing e-mail after he read it, and called me on the phone almost choking in laughter....
Well, as part of my homage to him I am reproducing the column here:
I've been in part responsible for the rebirth of Steve from "Hog on Ice" as a militia nut in Coral Gables. We have been corresponding about food, too, so he is becoming a fat militia nut. Steve recently got a Romanian job, a nice sniper rifle fit for a nice American boy from Coral Gables.
And, besides my wicked gun and ammo advise, I will give him today a recipe that will make him as fat as Jeb Bush. Note to cagasstro, the recipe is not for you; it won't help you with your chronic diarrhea.
Both diarrheas, mean, the physical and the mental one, too.
Flambée Sweet Bananas:
Just slice some very ripe bananas and put them in a cast iron skillet with some butter, the more the better.
Fry them till they are golden in color and then sprinkle them with brown sugar to taste. Once that’s done, pick a bottle of your favorite rum, splash them with it and flambé the bananas to your heart's content.
If you prefer, you can also use bourbon or brandy. If you are in a very Southernmood, peaches can be used
instead of bananas. That’s what Babs sends W. at the White House and used to send "Fat" Jeb in Tallahassee.
Steve had some questions about bimetalic bullets, and I offered him my insight:
"Eastern Bloc ammunition consists of a bullet with a core made out of very heavy steel with a copper layer. The copper layer has a ring of blueish copper around the tip which is very dark. It was said that the copper was very toxic for wounds, or, at least, that this particular copper alloy was. The tip was one kind of alloy, the circle was another one, and the rest was still another one.
My ballistics instructor in Cuba (the guy was a Cuban-born Korean War vet) had been on both sides with that kind of ammunition, having being shot at in Korea, then getting his hands on a commie rifle and paying the Chinese in kind. He told me that the heavy steel core allows the bullet to gain a lot of initial acceleration.
He also said that was a better vessel for hollow points loaded with mercury. I know those commies first hand and they really want to harm your ass with those shots! My instructor also told me then that with a very slight conversion those rifles
can shoot both kinds of 7.62 ammunition (x39 Eastern Block short, x54 Eastern Block long, or NATO). I tend to think that after your Dragula arrives and you try it, you will be tempted to try the RPK, an infantry machine gun that can bemounted on infantry transports, and the PPCh, a machine gun from hell.
Russian handguns are another story; I don't remember the name of the Russian Lucky Seven (called that, in English, by the Cuban elite forces) but it's a revolver with seven shots. Pretty amazing. The pistols are not masterworks. The 9 mm Makarov
is a bit unreliable, which made the commies call it Matacompañero (Comradekiller).
The Stekina is a pretty safe automatic, loosely based on the Colt 45 or the Browning, depending onthe model.
Some of them accept a rifle butt add-on.
I got you the website of the Lucky Seven: It's the Nagan. Nice.
Then I went into dispensing advise on how to make his newly arrived rifle into an Eastern block beauty:
"I am afraid that being a Romanian job it comes with some "blonde" wood. There are a few methods to darken and embellish them and all of them require messy materials and not regular woodstain. For example, the oil of the engine of a Russian truck. That's a dark substance of great viscosity that can even ruin a tank's armor plate. But if you get a "che" guevara t-shirt soaked in that burnt oil and vigorously rub all the wooden surfaces of your gun it will acquire what is known as "communist soul black" color, which is very beautiful. You can obtain "castro's heart black" if you use black combat boot polishing wax.
Then you have that wonderful color that is "prisoner "che" underpants" obtained when you use brown shoe polishing wax. Actually mineral oil gives the blonde wood some sort of greenish light, which can be interesting. A combination of all of the above helps you to obtain a pretty nice camouflage treatment known as Angolan garden, or raul castro hide-away. Don't worry about the operation: commie weapons are pretty reliable and precise. The noise that thing makes will allow you to identify Democratic party shooters in the range: they will faint at your first shot. The ones who won't faint will scream like a gay version of Howard Dean (is that an oxymoron?). Enjoy your new cannon." Don't tell me that I am not a source of incredible knowledge!"
I am designing a new camouflage pattern: the Banana Leaf, specially created for gourmet militia basket cases. It will soon be available at fine purveyors for all your militia gear needs in a secret location near you. Don't forget the secret knock on the door to be admited to the exclusive fashion show.